Hilaire Belloc parody
Young Fred the Wild Child
By Rachel Chown
Young Fred was an unusual child,
He had a love for all things wild,
He loved the great outdoors, and said
He’d gladly swap a moor for bed.
And happily he’d spend the night
In places that would give a fright
To most of us – a forest dark,
Or island bare, or desert stark,
But Fred’s keen interest caused him pain –
Not only drove his friends insane
And made his family go wild
Proclaiming, ‘What a crazy child!’
For came a day when off he took,
His lovely comfy bed forsook,
He ventured forth, despite the fog
That hid the fact that in a bog
He’d made his bed. The tent was up
And Fred had had his tasty sup,
A-snoozling he was, then found
A muddy ooze was all around –
The bog was slowly swallowing
The hapless Fred – for following
His heart’s desires, see what an end
He’d come to, if the message ‘send
A party out to find our son’
Hadn’t been sent from Mr Munn.
For Frederick Munn the elder cared
So much he longed that Fred be spared
The just and valid end result
Of leaving like a catapult
A large and warm and loving home.
Fred’s tale should warn us not to roam.
Today if you will take a look
Beside his parents’ fireplace nook,
Who will you see, now, but our Fred,
Content to sit all day instead.
No wandering over rugged plains
Or climbing mountains while it rains.
O what a transformation’s here –
Who would not raise a silent cheer?
I should point out, in case I’ve been too subtle, that the last two lines are meant to be ironic!
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